


Bearing a Lesson

by SonglordsBug



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Baby-Wan is so cute, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Qui-Gon just threw the jedi equivalent of a temper tantrum, Time Travel, but i don't give him any, force meddling, is that how the force works?, it's amazing how often qui and obi talk without any idea what the other is thinking, qui gets his hugs, qui-gon needs all the hugs, the council is being sneaky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 8,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonglordsBug/pseuds/SonglordsBug
Summary: Obi-Wan and Anakin are joyfully reunited in the Force after Anakin returns to the Light. Then they answer yes when the Force asks them a question. And six year old Obi-Wan wakes up in the creche.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 336
Kudos: 454





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> crossposting from stumblr

Obi-Wan is still reeling in wonder and awe and stunned joy as Anakin joins him in the Force, brought back to the light by his attachment to Luke. He feels Anakin’s hesitation and uncertainty and reaches out to him in welcome, sharing the joy and pride and most of all love (because there’s no point in pushing that aside anymore) for the other.

They remain wrapped in their embrace for an endless moment, exchanging apologies and forgiveness and understanding. Then, just as they were starting to pull apart, the Force whispered a question. They both answered yes without hesitation and six year old Obi-Wan Kenobi woke in the creche with a sob in his throat.

He struggled out from the tangle of his blankets, stumbled to the door, and made it several feet down the corridor before collapsing into sobs, struggling to make sense of years and years and lightsaber’s crashing and exploding droids and screaming starships and death so much death and then solitude and an eternity of sand so much sand.

His spinning thoughts are finally interrupted by Yoda himself.

“In much distress, you are, young Obi-Wan.” The old Master said. “A great disturbance in the Force, I have felt. At its center, you are.”

Obi-Wan’s sobs calmed into hiccupping breaths as he stared at Master Yoda with a tearstained face. The old Master sighed and patted his shoulder.

“Come. Meditate together we will.”

Yoda led Obi-Wan to the nearest meditation chamber, empty in the middle of the night, and they settled into meditation. Obi-Wan struggles to make sense of all the new experiences and images, obtained over a lifetime, that area filling his head. Yoda observes carefully while guiding him to bring them under control. At last they come out of their mediation and Yoda looks thoughtfully at the boy.

“A lifetime of memories, have you.” Yoda says.

Obi-Wan nods, looking lost.

“Master Yoda, what’s happened to me?” he asked.

Yoda hummed and folded his clawed hands together.

“Rare it is, very rare. But happened before, it has, that returned someone the Force has. With a lesson to teach, always returned with a lesson they are.” Yoda said, before tilting his ears inquisitively at Obi-Wan. “A lesson, to teach us, do you have, Obi-Wan?”

“I-Yes, I think, yes I do.” Obi-Wan stammered.

“And bring us what lesson do you?” Yoda asked.

“That while attachment can lead one to the Dark Side, it can also be a great strength for the Light.” Obi-Wan answered immediately before his hands came up to clap over his mouth, his eyes both astonished and afraid.

Yoda stared at him and then sighed and closed his eyes.

“Difficult to explain, this will be. Much change will this bring.”

He shook his head and opened his eyes, a glimmer of amusement in them as he looked at Obi-Wan.

“Meditate on this, I must. But return to your bed now, you must, youngling.”

“Yes, Master Yoda.” Obi-Wan answered.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day Obi-Wan was called before the Council.

“Last night’s disturbance, at it’s center, Obi-Wan was.” Yoda announced. “Bearing a lesson, he comes.”

Murmurs of surprise ran through the Council members and several of them looked intently at Obi-Wan. The six year old did his best to keep his head up and not fidget.

Mace Windu turned to Yoda.

“Are you sure, Master Yoda?” He asked.

Yoda nodded.

“Sure I am. Sure you would be also if listen to the Force you did.”

Mace glowered at Yoda, but he and the rest of the council reached out to the Force. The truth behind Yoda’s words was evident in the currents spiraling around Obi-Wan, still settling from the previous night’s upheaval.

Mace focused his gaze on Obi-Wan.

“Very well, Obi-Wan, what lesson do you bring us from the Force?” He asked.

The six year old hesitated and glanced at Yoda uncertainly. Yoda nodded encouragingly.

“Attachment can strengthen the Dark but it can bring even more strength to the Light.” Obi-Wan told the Masters.

He tried not to fidget in the silence that fell but couldn’t help his flinch when Mace breathed out “Impossible.”

“Difficult, it will be, but impossible it is not.” Yoda said. “Time it will take, but learn this we must, ignore it we cannot.”

“But Master Yoda-” Yarael Poof started to argue.

“Records show that the lessons borne by the twice-lived always become necessary.” Adi Gallia interrupted. “If Obi-Wan says we must learn to find strength in attachment, then we must learn it.”

Poof and several other Masters bristled, but before they could disagree, Depa Billaba spoke up.

“Before any of us let this shock go to our heads, I think we should take a break and reconvene once we’ve meditated and considred out options.”

“Time we have, and time we must take.” Yoda said with an agreeing nod. “For now, meditate daily, Obi-Wan and I will. If organize your memories, we can, less confusing it will be, mmm?”

Obi-Wan ducked his head in a nod and smiled shyly.

“Then the Force be with us all, Masters.” Mace said in dismissal.


	3. Chapter 3

Several weeks later Obi-Wan was pale and had dark circles under his eyes. Between the memories and an upsurge of visions, the boy was hardly sleeping. During his daily meditation with Yoda he looked up with tears in his eyes.

“This isn’t working. I can’t… I can’t control the memories.” The boy said in defeat.

“Strong in the Unifying Force You are. The source of your visions it is.” Yoda said.

“I know.” Obi-Wan said.

“Make you even stronger the memories do.” Yoda said.

“They-oh, they do? So that’s why-I can’t?” Obi-Wan asked.

Yoda nodded.

“Ground yourself in the Living Force you must.” Yoda said.

“I know how! But when I do it it doesn’t work and I don’t know why…” Obi-Wan said.

“Memories you have and knowledge you have. But experience, skills, you have not.” Yoda said.

“Huh?” Obi-Wan said.

Yoda sighed.

“The memories of an older Obi-Wan you have, yes?” Yoda asked.

Obi-Wan nodded.

“But six years old you are. So experienced only six years you have. Comprehend the others you cannot.” Yoda said.

Obi-Wan frowned.

“So I can’t understand what I remember because I’m six?” Obi-Wan asked.

Yoda hummed.

“Two different Obi-Wans we speak of.” He said. “One, many years he lived. Experienced many things he did. The other, six years old he is. Many memories not his own he has.”

Obi-Wan nodded, still frowning.

“But why can’t I use the Force when I know how?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Knowledge you have, but skills you have not.” Yoda answered.

Obi-Wan scowled and started to open his mouth. Yoda held up one hand.

“Knowledge of many lightsaber forms you have gained, yes?” Yoda asked.

Obi-Wan nodded.

“Master taught me ataru and later I used soresu.” Obi-Wan said.

“But the skills have you, to perform the katas?” asked Yoda.

“No-oh… I don’t have the muscles I need.” Obi-Wan said.

“Muscle memory you lack. The same it is, with the Force.” Yoda said.

Obi-Wan wrinkled his brow.

“There are Force muscles?” He asked.

“Hrumph. A metaphor it was.” Yoda said grumpily.

“But how’m I sposed to get my skills back?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Relearn them, you must. My methods, working for you, are not. A different teacher you need. Have someone in mind I do.” Yoda said.

“Who?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Qui-Gon Jinn.” Yoda said.

Obi-Wan fell into a stunned silence.

“But Master Jinn said he was never taking another Padawan!” Obi-Wan finally burst out.

“Speaking of Padawans we are not. Six years old you are. Time enough for Masters and Padawans we will have later.” Yoda said.

“I- But- Oh…” Obi-Wan stuttered.

“Tomorrow, meet here as usual, we will. But with Master Jinn as well.” Yoda told him, getting up to leave.

“Yes Master Yoda.” Obi-Wan said with a quiet voice.

As he watched the old master leave all he could think was ‘he wasn’t ready for me when I was almost 13, there’s no way he’ll be ready for me when I’m 6.’


	4. Chapter 4

Several hours later Yoda and Qui-Gon Jinn met in one of the main gardens. They had been meeting there several times a week for the last six months, ever since Qui-Gon had returned to the Temple without his Fallen Padawan, Xanatos.

“Need your help, I do.” Yoda told the taller jedi.

“With what, Master?” Qui-Gon asked.

“An Initiate there is-” Yoda started to say before Qui-Gon interrupted.

“Master you know my stance on this. I’m not taking another Padawan. Not after-” Qui-Gon said.

Yoda huffed and hit Qui-Gon across the shins with his gimer stick.

“Speaking of Masters and Padawans we are not!” Yoda said sharply. “Too soon it is for you, healing you still are. And six years old is the boy, stay in the creche he should. But hope do I that help him you can where I cannot.”

Qui-Gon stared at Yoda before frowning and asking “with what would I be helping him?”

“Grounding in the Living Force he needs.” Yoda said.

“I’m sorry Master but I cannot think of anything that I can teach a six year old about that you cannot do better.” Qui-Gon said with a frown.

“My methods, working are not.” Yoda admitted, ears drooping. “Strong in the Unifying Force he is. Visions he has.”

“He’s young to be having such visions.” Qui-Gon said, surprised.

Yoda hummed.

“Yes and no. Twice-lived he is.” Yoda answered.

“We have a twice-lived among us?” Qui-Gon asked.

“Bearing a difficult lesson he is. Returned to us just a few weeks ago he did.” Yoda said.

“I’m beginning to see why you came to me, Master.” Qui-Gon said.

“Then help, you will?” Yoda asked.

“Yes, I will.” Qui-Gon said with a sigh. “What is the boy’s name?”

“Obi-Wan Kenobi, he is. Meet tomorrow in the meditation garden we will.” Yoda said.

“I will be there Master.” Qui-Gon said.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning, Qui-Gon hesitated at the entrance to the meditation garden as his eyes landed on the- surprisingly- small initiate. Yoda had said he was only six but the twice-lived had such a mythos that it was hard to imagine one as so small… or so young.

And the boy who had just turned startled eyes on him was young. He was clearly exhausted under the weight of years not his own, but behind the purple-black shadows he was painfully young.

And scared.

Of Qui-Gon.

Had his behavior really been so dreadful recently that the younglings viewed him fearfully, the man wondered. That was unacceptable he thought with self-directed anger.

But one thing at a time. He released his sudden emotional turmoil and stepped towards the boy, exuding calm. He knelt down in front of the boy and smiled gently.

“Hello youngling, Master Yoda thinks I can help you.” Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan stared at him before ducking his head in a nod.

“I’m Qui-Gon Jinn.” Qui-Gon said leadingly.

“M'Obi-Wan.” Obi-Wan said, looking up shyly.

Qui-Gon nodded.

“I hear you haven’t been sleeping.” Qui-Gon said.

“Too many things that were and are and will be and could be and might be.” Obi-Wan said, staring into the distance.

“Many who find themselves tightly entwined with the Unifying Force find peace when they center themselves in the Living Force.” Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan nodded tiredly.

“I know. My Master taught me how. But I can’t anymore. Master Yoda says I have to rebuild my Force muscles.” Obi-Wan said.

“Force muscles?” Qui-Gon asked, not quite able to control the amused twitching of his lips.

“That’s what Master Yoda said.” Obi-Wan said, a sudden glimmer of mischief dancing in his eyes. It faded suddenly as the boy sighed. “I’m tired, Master.”

“Well then, I think our first step should be to meditate together and see whether I can help you reach the Living Force.” Qui-Gon said. “That will allow you to rest and it will be easier for you to build your Force muscles when you are rested.”

“‘Kay.” Obi-Wan said.

They settled into lotus, facing each other. Qui-Gon held out his hands, palms up, and Obi-Wan set his much smaller hands on top. They settled into a light trance and Qui-Gon reached out and knocked gently on Obi-Wan’s shields.

There was a moment of hesitation and then Obi-Wan opened his mind with such ease and trust that it took Qui-Gon’s breath away.


	6. Chapter 6

Obi-Wan was sitting in the usual spot in the meditation garden trying to ignore the fact that he was not meeting Master Yoda.

He was so tired. Every time he closed his eyes he saw flashes from blasters and lightsabers. His soul ached from all the death that hadn’t happened. And he missed Anakin- Anakin who wasn’t even born.

He just wanted it to all go away so that he could sleep and then wake up in the creche and play with Bant and Garen and Reeft.

A sound from the entrance brought his head whipping up to see Qui-Gon Jinn looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

Obi-Wan couldn’t control the emotion running through him. He was Attached- so very attached- to this man he’d never met. And even though that was the very lesson he’d brought to teach, it was terrifying.

He wanted.

Mostly just to curl up in the man’s Force presence and arms and find the sleep that had been eluding him. But his Master- no not his Master maybe never his Master- hadn’t been ready before when they’d been out of time, couldn’t possibly be ready now when it was so much earlier.

And what would he do without Qui-Gon Jinn?

In the midst of his building panic, he was surprised by how calmly Qui-Gon came towards and smiled?

Obi-Wan stared at him.

“Hello youngling, Master Yoda thinks I can help you.” Qui-Gon said with such warmth that Obi-Wan ducked his head in relief and longing and sudden hope, almost on the verge of tears.

“My name is Qui-Gon Jinn.” His mas-not his master said with a questioning lilt.

“M'Obi-Wan.” He whispered, overwhelmed.

Qui-Gon nodded and looked at him sympathetically.

“I hear you haven’t been sleeping.” The man said.

“Too many things that were and are and will be and could be and might be.” Obi-Wan explained, eyes catching on the visions and memories haunting him asleep and awake.

“Many who find themselves tightly entwined with the Unifying Force find peace when they center themselves in the Living Force.” Qui-Gon said, his voice bringing Obi-Wan back to the Now.

Obi-Wan nodded, unsure if he was amused or exasperated by the number of memories he had of this man telling him the exact same thing.

“I know. My Master taught me how. But I can’t anymore. Master Yoda says I have to rebuild my Force muscles.” Obi-Wan said.

“Force muscles?” Qui-Gon asked, the laughter on his face inviting Obi-Wan to share the joke.

“That’s what Master Yoda said.” Obi-Wan said, a giggle rising in his throat. It faded into a sigh as another wave of exhaustion crashed over him. “I’m tired, Master.” the boy said plaintively.

“Well then I think our first step should be to meditate together and see whether I can help you reach the Living Force.” Qui-Gon said.

“‘Kay.” Obi-Wan said, surprised to realize that one of his earlier wishes might be coming true.

They faced each other in lotus and Obi-Wan placed his hands palm down atop Qui-Gon’s, marveling at how large the size difference was. When Qui-Gon brushed against his shields, he hesitated a moment, concerned about over-sharing, before opening up.

As their minds met, Obi-Wan could have wept in relief at the feeling of being surrounded, safe, in his Master’s Force presence. It didn’t take him long to slip from trance to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Qui-Gon came out of trance and looked at Obi-Wan with bemused wonder. He had never experienced such a high level of initial trust in a meeting of minds before. In fact he wasn’t sure he’d ever been welcomed that easily.

Certainly Xan- he flinched away from that thought and focused on the boy in front of him.

Getting the youngling to sleep had been easy thanks to the trust he showed. Qui-Gon picked the boy up, it was time to get him to a bed. There would be plenty of time later to help him develop his skills, or “force muscles.” Qui-Gon chuckled to himself and shook his head.

When the sleeping boy nuzzled closer, he felt his heart swell in surprise and affection.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Qui-Gon was waiting in the garden when Obi-Wan arrived. The boy ran in breathlessly, eyes and smile bright.

“Good morning, Obi-Wan. I take it you slept well?” Qui-Gon greeted him.

The boy nodded rapidly.

“All yesterday and all night! Thank you Master!” Obi-Wan said.

“I am glad I was able to help,” Qui-Gon said. “Now shall we see about teaching you to touch the Living Force on your own?”

Obi-Wan nodded again, plopped down into lotus and looked at Qui-Gon with excited expectation. Qui-Gon smiled in return, helplessly charmed by the boy.

“Before we try any exercises, why don’t you tell me what you already know about the Living Force.” Qui-Gon said.

“The Force is the Force. The Unified Force and the Living Force are just different ways of looking at the whole.” Obi-Wan answered immediately.

Qui-Gon’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“You know that all ready, do you?” he asked.

Obi-Wan gave him a dry look, much drier than he’d have expected from a six year old.

“I wouldn’t have been much of a jedi if I hadn’t figured at least that out before…” Obi-Wan said.

“Fair enough. Hmm,” Qui-Gon said.

“What?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Generally students do not figure that out until after they have learned to touch both aspects of the Force. I can certainly understand why you’re having difficulties,” Qui-Gon said.

“Oh. But then what’re we gonna do?” Obi-Wan asked, a worried wrinkle appearing on his forehead.

Qui-Gon smiled and stood suddenly.

“We are going to take a walk,” he said, offering Obi-Wan his hand.

Qui-Gon led Obi-Wan out into the main garden, where Obi-Wan stopped, closed his eyes, and hummed contentedly.

“Do you like gardens then, little one?” Qui-Gon asked.

“I didn’t care before,” the boy said, slowly opening his eyes. “But now… It’s so green and alive and wonderful and it’s not like sand at all!”

“You don’t like sand?” Qui-Gon asked.

“Not when I can remember living years and years in the desert,” Obi-Wan said, his face going somber.

“And this desert had no redeeming qualities?” Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan considered this before smiling wistfully.

“Well, there were these moths. They’d hatch at night, after the rare occasions it rained. They only live a few hours, but… they were small and white and they glowed like the moonlight they flew in. They were beautiful,” Obi-Wan said, eyes distant.

“Hmm,” was Qui-Gon’s only comment before tugging the boy back into movement and guiding him through the garden. They wandered for a while, discussing the plants that caught their eyes until they came to a glass building tucked out of the way.

“What’s this?” Obi-Wan asked.

“This is the Conservatory,” Qui-Gon answered. “It’s where we grow a number of warmer climate plants, but it’s also where we raise many butterfly species.”

“Butterflies?” Obi-Wan asked eyes wide.

Qui-Gon smiled at him.

“Shall we see what we can find?” he asked the boy.

Obi-Wan nodded, eagerly and they stepped inside.

Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan several minutes to look about in wide-eyed wonder before steering the boy over to a cocoon. Obi-Wan studied it intensely before darting a glance at Qui-Gon.

“It’s so small and plain looking,” he said.

“But we both know that’s not true.” Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan agreed with a nod.

“Can you see what it’s hiding? What it will become?” Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan looked back at the cocoon, reaching out with the Force. His eyes widened.

“Oh! Purple! And orange! And… red?” he gasped, smiling delightedly. “It’s beautiful, Master! And as big as my face!”

“Sounds as though it will be a wonder to behold,” Qui-Gon said, smiling back. “Tell me, can you also see what it was?”

Obi-Wan frowned, reached out to the Force again and giggled.

“It’s all wiggly! And it has spots!”

“Very good, Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon praised. “Do you think you can find the point between?”

Obi-Wan’s grasp on the Force tightened and then changed suddenly. Obi-Wan went cross-eyed and gasped. For a moment, instead of seeing and holding the Force as it followed the life of the butterfly he was holding and seeing the Force in the Now as it radiated out from the butterfly to other life forms.

It only lasted a moment, but it was enough to have the boy turn, beaming, to Qui-Gon and say “I did it Master, I did it!”

“You did indeed,” Qui-Gon said, smiling back. “And it was very well done.”

“I can do it again, I think,” Obi-Wan said, sarting to turn back to the cocoon.

Qui-Gon grabbed his shoulder.

“I’m sure you can, but perhaps it would be best if we were to bother some of the other cocoons, we wouldn’t want to annoy this one.” Qui-Gon suggested.

They spent the next hour of so wandering from butterfly to butterfly, practicing, until Obi-Wan started faltering, at which point Qui-Gon gently but firmly sent him to eat and rest.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to their initial successes, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan met every morning to improve the boy’s abilities. Qui-Gon found himself utterly charmed by the bright eyed six year old and the way one moment he could be giggling over a flower and the next he could be speaking solemnly about attachment.

Obi-Wan was eager for his lessons, which is why Qui-Gon was surprised when the boy did not arrive one morning. After waiting a half an hour past their usual meeting time, Qui-Gon rose and made his way to the creche.

He noticed that the creche’s usual aura of calm chaos had an undercurrent of unease as he flagged down a flustered clan leader.

“Ah, Master Jinn, what brings you to the creche?” asked the startled clan leader.

“Obi-Wan did not arrive for his lessons this morning, and I was hoping to find out why,” Qui-Gon answered, keeping his voice calm and pleasant.

“O-Obi-Wan? Oh dear,” the clan leader said, visibly upset. “I-I’m afraid he wouldn’t wake this morning. He’s been taken to the Healers.”

“I see. Thank you for your assistance,” Qui-Gon said curtly before turning on a heel and making his way briskly towards the Healers.


	10. Chapter 10

Qui-Gon strode into the Healers Wing and snagged the shoulder of the first padawan he found.

“Where is Obi-Wan Kenobi?” he demanded.

“Ah, 3b, but I’m not sure they’ll let you in,” the padawan answered.

“Thank you, padawan,” he said over his shoulder as he made his way to room 3b. Not deigning to knock, Qui-Gon pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Obi-Wan lay motionless on the bed, bright hair stark against skin almost as pale as the white sheets. He was the only part of the crowded room that was still. There were two healers and an assistant looking over some charts, a Soul Healer had his hands hovering over Obi-Wan’s head, Master Yoda was perched on the bed, and Mace Windu was lurking in a corner. At Qui-Gon’s entrance, one of the healers turned to him with a glare and opened her mouth. Before she could start chastising, Yoda interrupted her.

“Help us, perhaps, Qui-Gon can. Welcome him, we should,” said the old master, beckoning with one clawed hand.

Qui-Gon was already stepping closer.

“The crechemaster said he would not wake,” he said, looking with concern at the little boy.

“Left his body, his soul has,” Yoda murmured, resting his hand on Obi-Wan’s.

“What?” asked Qui-Gon, alarm and confusion shading his voice.

“It’s not that unusual an occurrence,” said the Soul Healer. “As Jedi we deal so much with the Force and the spirit that it’s almost a common mistake, and has even been done purposefully on occasion. Our bonds to our bodies are generally strong enough to immediately snap our souls back where they belong. In Obi-Wan’s case, however, it almost seems as though something stronger is pulling him away.”

“Worked with him, you have. Perhaps reach him, you can, where we cannot. Call him, you should,” Yoda said, a worried glint in his eyes.

“I- all right,” Qui-Gon acquiesced, stepping over to take the Soul Healer’s position and gently cupping Obi-Wan’s head in his hands.

He sank into meditation and then reached out to brush minds with Obi-Wan. Where normally he would experience brief but firm resistance followed by breathtaking welcome, this time the only resistance was the barest feeling of cobwebs and then he found aching emptiness. Concerned and a little alarmed, Qui-Gon followed the faint trace of Obi-Wan as far as he could before calling out into the aether.

‘Obi-Wan!’

For several agonizing seconds there was no response, but finally a distant and confused response reached him.

'Master?’

'There you are,’ Qui-Gon sent, relieved. 'Obi-Wan, come back.’

'Master? I don’t-’ Obi-Wan replied, confusion and anxiety tinging his mental voice.

'You have gone a very long way from where you should be, youngling, and it’s time to come back now,’ Qui-Gon answered, making his own mental voice firm but gentle. 'Come now, follow my voice.’

'Yes Master,’ Obi-Wan answered, and slowly but surely his bright presence came closer until Qui-Gon opened his eyes on an inhale and found himself meeting Obi-Wan’s baffled blue eyes.

“Wha-Wha’ hap'n’d? Why’m I in the Healers?” Obi-Wan asked, pushing himself into a seated position.

“Left your body, you did, youngling. Know why you did so, do you?” Yoda asked.

“I-I didn’t mean to. I was looking for Ani. I miss him,” Obi-Wan said, looking around uncertainly.

“And who is Ani, Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon asked.

“He’s m'brother. Or… was? will be? I-I don’t think he’s borned yet. But he has to be! The Force asked both of us!” Obi-Wan said, confusion morphing into panic.

“Easy, Obi-Wan, wasy,” Qui-Gon soothed, bringing a hand up to rub Obi-Wan’s back. “Trust the Force, all will be well.”

Obi-Wan nodded, taking several shaky breaths and fisting a hand in Qui-Gon’s robe.

When he had calmed, Mace Windu stepped forward.

“We will figure things out, youngling,” he said with a rare smile. “All you need to concern yourself with is mastering your new memories… and keeping yourself in your body.”

“Yes, Master Windu,” Obi-Wan said, smiling shyly.

“Perhaps resume your lesson with Master Jinn, you should,” Yoda suggested.

When Obi-Wan looked up hopefully, Qui-Gon smiled.

“An excellent suggestion, Master,” he agreed, “and I think today would be a good day to visit the Conservatory.”

Obi-Wan beamed and took the hand Qui-Gon offered.


	11. Chapter 11

Four days later it happened again. And then again three days after that. The Council called a meeting that included everyone involved to discuss the problem.

“He has no bio siblings, brother or sister,” Tahl, who had been asked to look into Obi-Wan’s birth family, reported.

“We must remember that Obi-Wan has memories of a future. It seems possible from the way he spoke that this brother hasn’t been born,” Qui-Gon said.

“Possible, this is,” Yoda agreed before turning to the Soul Healer. “Have anything to add, do you?”

“I’ve never heard of or encountered a bond formed prior to the birth of both parties,” the Soul Healer said. “That said, it reminds me of the problems that develop when one member of certain powerful bonds dies. Often the pull of the bond is enough to cause the living half to die as well.”

“What?” Qui-Gon asked sharply.

“Is there anything that can be done?” Mace Windu asked.

“Sometimes a lesser bond, or several lesser bonds, can be used to anchor the living,” the Soul Healer answered. “It depends on how willing the living half is to live without their bondmate.”

“It seems likely that Kenobi does wish to live, considering the circumstances, so perhaps a training bond?” Master Billaba suggested.

“But surely Obi-Wan is too young for such a bond,” Qui-Gon objected, unsettled.

“Rare it is, but happened it has, that a Padawan, their Master finds at an early age,” Yoda noted with a twitch of an ear and a thoughtful look at Qui-Gon.

“It might be an ideal solution,” the Soul Healer murmured. “Training bonds are very strong, one of the reasons for their forming is to prevent similar occurrences.”

“But the boy has special needs!” cried Qui-Gon. “Are we even sure there is a master among us prepared to provide to a padawan what his lesson requires?”

“Consider this, we will, but listen to the Force we must, when make a decision we do,” Yoda answered. “For now, meditate we should.”

“Master Yoda is right, we must consult the Force and consider this carefully. We should reconvene after we have time to meditate,” Mace declared, dismissing them.


	12. Chapter 12

Several hours later, Qui-Gon was called to the Council chamber again. Standing before the Masters, Qui-Gon squared his shoulders and prepared to fight.

“On the matter of whether Initiate Kenobi needs a Master-” he began.

“Here to discuss that, you are not,” Yoda interrupted. “A Master, Kenobi must have. Find one, we will. A mission for you, we have.”

“I-what?” Qui-Gon asked, thrown by the unexpected announcement.

“The people of Levian II have finalized their treat for entry into the Republic. They have requested your presence at the signing due to your significant assistance with writing the original draft,” Mace said.

“But such a mission means I will be gone over a week!” Qui-Gon objected.

“True, but it would not do to offend them by denying such a reasonable request,” Adi said sympathetically.

“Very well, Masters. When does my transport leave?” Qui-Gon asked, lips thin.

“Tonight,” Mace answered. “May the Force be with you.”

“Then I need to start packing,” Qui-Gon said, bowing perfunctorily and storming out of the room.

That evening, as Qui-Gon settled into his assigned quarters on the transport, he reluctantly admitted to himself that standard meditation was not helping him with the turmoil he was experiencing, and he might benefit from a deeper style of meditation that let him communicate more directly with his subconscious and the Force. With a resigned sigh, he sank into the first of many meditations he would do that trip.


	13. Chapter 13

1

“We’ve always had our disagreements, Qui-Gon, but I never took you for an imbecile.”

Qui-Gon startled at the sudden sound of his Master’s voice, looking around to catch his mental image of Dooku emerging from the shadows.

“And in what way have I proved myself unsatisfactory, Master?” he asked.

“I certainly didn’t teach you to ignore the Will of the Force,” Master Dooku said, frowning at him.

“I’m not,” Qui-Gon objected.

“Ah yes, because when one is one with the Force and at peace with its Will, one always finds oneself in such turmoil,” Dooku said, raising a sardonic eyebrow.

“I… perhaps you have a point,” Qui-Gon admitted tiredly. “But as I am meditating in order to discover that which I am ignorant of, perhaps you might provide assistance instead of chastisement.”

Dooku snorted.

“Plain speaking then, my padawan?” he asked.

Qui-Gon nodded.

“I was no more ready for a Padawan when you came into my life than you are now,” Dooku said.

Qui-Gon frowned in confusion, opening his mouth to ask what significance that had.

“But,” Dooku said, silencing him with a look, “when the Force slapped me across the face with our training bond, I took you on.”

Before Qui-Gon could reply, the other man vanished as he found himself coming out of his meditation.

2

The next time, Qui-Gon was more prepared for the representation of his Master.

“Obi-Wan and I do not have a training bond,” Qui-Gon said levelly as Dooku appeared in front of him.

“You sound quite certain of that, Padawan,” Dooku said neutrally, allowing no expression to show what he thought.

“If we did, I would be able to prevent his spirit wanderings,” Qui-Gon said.

“A fair point,” his Master agreed. “But how do you explain your unique ability to call him back from such wanderings?”

“I- the work I’ve done with him,” Qui-Gon answered.

“Work my own Master has also done. In fact, Yoda has known this boy for years longer than you,” Dooku noted.

“Aah- Master Yoda’s teachings did not suit-” Qui-Gon stutttered.

“But yours did,” Dooku interrupted. “Perhaps you do not share a fully-fledged training bond, but only a fool would deny that the beginnings of one exists between the two of you.”

And with that, Dooku disappeared, ending the meditation session and leaving Qui-Gon speechless.

3

The third time the form of his Master appeared, Qui-Gon’s head was bowed and he did not speak.

“I fail to see the point of a meditation like this if you will not speak,” Dooku said waspishly after several minutes of silence.

“…whether there could be a training bond between us matters not. I am not fit to be any child’s Master, let alone his,” Qui-Gon murmured.

“You think any Master truly feels prepared?” Dooku asked.

“Past evidence proves it in my case,” Qui-Gon answered.

“Your first Padawan would be offended by that,” Dooku noted.

“I barely had any influence on Feemor. I merely polished what another had completed,” Qui-Gon argued.

“I doubt he agrees, and perhaps you should ask him how he feels when you return to the Temple,” Dooku suggested.

“Whether I can claim any of his success, I still failed-” Qui-Gon choked.

“Xanatos,” Dooku said flatly.

Qui-Gon flinched.

“Qui-Gon, it is not your fault,” the other man said firmly but gently.

“The Master is responsible for the Padawan,” Qui-Gon choked out.

“For the care and teaching of the Padawan. The Padawan is responsible for his own choices,” Dooku corrected.

“But I should have seen- should have known- should have done something-” Qui-Gon said, finally looking at his Master with an anguished face.

“Perhaps, or perhaps you did all anyone could, and the only one with the power to change things was your Xan,” Dooku said gently, compassion in his dark eyes.

Qui-Gon shook his head in uncertain denial.

“Qui-Gon. Every Master is baffled and confused and shocked by his Padawan. It is the way of things,” Dooku smiled slightly. “A lucky few may even count themselves pleased and proud, as I do.”

When Qui-Gon went to shake his head again, Dooku glared at him.

“No. You know it to be true. I have told you before,” Dooku said, firm but gentle. “Please, padawan mine, do not ruin yourself with this. You must forgive yourself your Padawan’s choices.”

He faded away after that, leaving Qui-Gon rung out and exhausted.

Interlude

Qui-Gon did not have time to meditate during the three days he was on Levian II. Instead he was swept from event to event as the planet celebrated its entry into the Republic. And expressed its gratitude to him for his help. It was a relief to return to his quarters on the transport and resume his meditations.

4

He was expecting the figure that stepped out of his shadows to again be his Master. He was not expecting the pale skin, dark hair, and ice blue eyes of his Fallen Padawan.

“Xanatos,” Qui-Gon breathed.

“Hello Master,” Xanatos said with a small smile.

“Why are you here?” Qui-Gon asked.

“Maybe because you are finally ready to face what happened, Master,” Xanatos answered, eyes laughing.

“You Fell,” Qui-Gon said brokenly.

“I am,” Xanatos agreed solemnly.

“You turned your back on the Order,” Qui-Gon said.

“I have,” Xanatos agreed.

“I- I loved you,” Qui-Gon choked out.

“You do,” Xanatos agreed, smiling sweetly. “All facts, my Master.”

“I failed you!” Qui-Gon cried out.

“Perhaps. Maybe there was something I needed that you didn’t provide,” Xanatos said thoughtfully, looking into the distance. “Or perhaps I failed you. Maybe you gave me everything I needed and I was too foolish and blind to see it.”

“I… hadn’t thought of it like that,“ Qui-Gons said, blinking.

"I know,” Xanatos said, a painfully familiar impish smile on his face. “Does it matter?”

“What? Yes of course! It-” Qui-Gon exclaimed.

“Qui-Gon. I am Fallen. I have turned away from the Order. You love me,” Xanatos said, looking him in the eye. “None of these things are changed by where the blame is placed. And we both know that realistically it’s more complicated than that.”

“Is it?” Qui-Gon asked tiredly, looking at his Fallen Padawan.

“The Jedi Order is a flawed institution,” Xanatos said, giving Qui-Gon an exasperated look. “Perhaps the changes your boy is bringing will prevent others from having my difficulties.”

“He is not my boy,” Qui-Gon protested.

“You do neither of us nor the boy justice when you deny it,” Xanatos said, rolling his eyes and vanishing.

5

“What did you mean that I did none of us justice,” Qui-Gon asked as soon as Xanatos reappeared.

“Well, either you were wrong about me,” Xanatos said, face twisting into an ugly sneer, eyes growing cold and hard, “and I was never meant to be a jedi, too proud, too hateful, too dark.”

Qui-Gon swallowed with a dry throat, eyes locked on the beautiful face made hideous with hate.

“In which case my Fall was inevitable and not your fault,” Xanatos said with a roll of his eyes, “and why the kriff would you let me win, let my darkness blot out the light you can still provide the galaxy?”

Qui-Gon gaped at him.

“Or you were right about me,” and here Xanatos’ face gentled into something soft and sweet and sad, “and I loved you as much as you loved me and my Fall is a tragedy.”

Qui-Gon blinked burning eyes and licked his lips as he drew in a shaky breath.

“But somewhere inside me is still that boy and he would want you happy and not alone,” Xanatos said.

“Xani-” Qui-Gon whispered.

Xanatos smiled sadly at him.

“I miss you,” Qui-Gon said.

“I know,” Xanatos answered.

The silence between them was heavy and sorrow filled.

“And really Master, it’s just rude to make the decision without giving the boy his own chance to choose,” Xanatos said, eyes dancing as he lightened the mood.

“Ah- You may have a point,” Qui-Gon conceded.

“I usually do,” said Xanatos impishly.

Qui-Gon chuckled rustily and nodded to his former Padawan. Xanatos nodded back and vanished.

6

Sinking into meditation, Qui-Gon found himself alone with the Force. Calm and at peace for the first time in months, Qui-Gon turned towards his collection of Force bonds. Briefly checking on his various older training and pair bonds, he turned his mind to the newest bond. It was just starting to grow, but already it was bright and warm.


	14. Chapter 14

Qui-Gon entered the Temple with purpose. He needed to report to the Council about his mission, but first, the Force nudged him in agreement, he needed to talk to Obi-Wan. Following the guidance of the Force, he made his way through the Temple, unsurprised and pleased to find himself entering the Conservatory.

He was displeased, however, when he heard weeping coming from the boy’s direction. He quickened his pace, soon entering a clearing they had used several times. Obi-Wan was collapsed and weeping on the ground near a bench.

“Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon called out gently.

Obi-Wan startled and lifted his head to show a blotchy red tearstained face.

“M-Master?” Obi-Wan asked uncertainly.

“Obi-Wan, whatever is the matter?” Qui-Gon asked, kneeling in front of the little boy.

“The-the Council says I’m getting a M-master,” Obi-Wan said.

Qui-Gon nodded.

“It does seem the best solution for your wanderings,” he said. “Most Initiates are delighted to be getting a Master.”

“I don’t want a Master!” Obi-Wan yelled, scowling. “I already have one!”

“Do you?” Qui-Gon asked, eyebrows raising in surprise. “I-I, w-well, not-not yet,” Obi-Wan stammered, face crumpling. “B-but I don’ wan’ a new one!”

“Ah,” Qui-Gon murmured as a glimmer of understanding came to him. “Obi-Wan, do you mean the Master you had in your previous life?”

Obi-Wan nodded, sniffling.

“I wan’ my Master, not a dif'ren’ one,” he said miserably, eyes filling with tears.

“And there is some reason your previous Master is unavailable,” Qui-Gon said, not quite asking.

“He won’ be ready for a while,” Obi-Wan answered, nodding. “But I wanna wait! I dun wan’ someone else!”

“You know some would say you’re quite attached,” Qui-Gon said, gently teasing in the hopes of lightening the mood.

It backfired as Obi-Wan immediately glowered at him in righteous fury.

“I am! An’ there’s nothin’ wrong with it! S'what I’m s'posed to teach you all!” he yelled.

“I’m sorry Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said contritely. “That was unkind of me to say. A Master-Padawan relationship is very special and it’s understandable that you would be upset about this.”

Obi-Wan nodded firmly, still scowling at him.

“The two of you can still have a relationship, even if he’s not your Master,” Qui-Gon said gently, before smiling a little wryly. “The Force has a tendency to bring certain people together in whatever way it can.”

Obi-Wan nodded reluctantly.

“But I don’t want it to be different,” he said plaintively.

“That’s understandable,” Qui-Gon said, “But even were he to become your Master, wouldn’t your relationship still be different because you are different?”

“I guess…” Obi-Wan grumbled.

“Perhaps you have learned what you were meant to from your previous Master, and you have different things to learn from a new Master,” Qui-Gon suggested.

“D'you think so?” Obi-Wan asked, eyes wide and startled.

“It seems possible,” Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan’s face scrunched up in distate, shifted into a displeased grimace, and slowly eased into unhappy resignation.

“Well if you think so,” he sighed, “then I guess I’ll take a different Master.”

“That’s good to hear,” Qui-Gon said gently, remembering his original reason for seeking Obi-Wan out. He hesitated, wondering if he should wait for a better time, but the Force nudged him into speaking.

“In that case, Obi-Wan Kenobi would you do me the honor of becoming my Padawan?” Qui-Gon asked, surprised by how anxious he felt.

Obi-Wan stared at him blankly and he felt his stomach sink.

Then Obi-Wan beamed.

“Yes!” Obi-Wan yelled, launching himself at Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon caught him with a startled laugh as he was pushed onto his back by the boy’s- by his Padawan’s jubilant momentum.


	15. Chapter 15

Qui-Gon pushed himself into a seated position, Obi-Wan in his lap.

“That’s a very enthusiastic response for someone so reluctantly resigned to a new Master,“ Qui-Gon said, smiling and running a hand over red hair.

"Oh, well, um,” Obi-Wan mumbled, turning bright red and burying his face in Qui-Gon’s chest.

Qui-Gon stared down at the top of his head in stunned realization.

“Obi-Wan, do you mean- that is- was I?” Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan nodded without lifting his face from where he’d hidden it. “I-I’m honored,” Qui-Gon breathed, awed by the realization that in another life he’d earned the fierce loyalty he’d seen minutes ago. “But- you thought I wasn’t ready?”

Obi-Wan finally shifted just enough to peer up at Qui-Gon.

“Last time you weren’t,” he said solemnly.

Qui-Gon reflected on this, and everything he had experienced recently, then smiled sadly.

“I think in your other life, your Master was a fool who let a very painful wound fester, instead of lancing and cleaning it as he should have,” he said.

“What changed?” Obi-Wan asked.

“You did, dear one,” Qui-Gon answered, gently running a couple of knuckles down Obi-Wan’s cheek.

Obi-Wan drew in a startled breath and his mouth made a silent ‘Oh’ of surprise.

“Now then, Padawan mine, shall we go inform the Council that they can stop searching for a Master for you?” Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan giggled and nodded, wiping away the last traces of his tears. They got to their feet and hand in hand made their way to the Council chamber.

Obi-Wan entered the chamber several steps behind Qui-Gon, who strode to the center of the room.

“Welcome back, Master Jinn,” Mace greeted him with a flick of his eyes to where Obi-Wan was hovering behind Qui-Gon’s shoulder. “Your mission was successful?”

“Thank you, Masters. Yes it was,” Qui-Gon replied. “The people of Levian II are overjoyed about their entrance into the Republic and the transition is going smoothly.”

“That is good to hear,” Master Piell said. “They need no further involvement from us?”

“That did not seem necessary at this time,” Qui-Gon answered.

“Well done, Master Jinn, the Council thanks you for your service,” Mace said, but before he could continue to a dismissal, Qui-Gon spoke up.

“There is another matter I would like to bring before the Council,” he said, bringing Obi-Wan to stand in front of him and resting his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “I intend to take Obi-Wan Kenobi as my Padawan.”

The Council fell into silence that was finally broken by Yoda.

“Expecting this, we were not,” he said, “but unwelcome it may not be.”

“Master Jinn, you yourself brought up the difficulties that the Master of our young lesson bearer will face,” Plo Koon said. “Are you sure you are prepared for them?”

Qui-Gon looked down and smiled warmly as his eyes met Obi-Wan’s.

“I believe I am very prepared for them, Master Koon,” he answered, causing Obi-Wan to beam.

“And what’s your opinion, Obi-Wan? It’s your apprenticeship being decided and it will undoubtedly affect the way you teach your lesson,” Depa Billaba asked, a wry quirk to her mouth that suggested she suspected the answer.

“I would like very much for Master Qui-Gon to be my Master. And I think he’ll be a lot of help with my lesson,” Obi-Wan said, bouncing on his toes as Qui-Gon squeezed his shoulders.

“You’re going to take him on whether we agree or not, aren’t you?” Mace said, glowering.

“Well, yes,” Qui-Gon answered.

Obi-Wan let loose a giggle and then slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Thought you were unprepared we did,” Yoda said.

“Master, I think it’s safe to say that everyone in this room, and possibly the Temple, thought so,” Qui-Gon said as Obi-Wan nodded firmly, stifling giggles. “But I have done a great deal of meditating recently and find that this is the Will of the Force.”

“Then our blessing, you have,” Yoda said, smiling.

“Thank you Masters,” Qui-Gon said, bowing. “In that case my Padawan and I have a training bond to finish.”

“Go. And may the Force be with you,” Mace said.

“And also with you,” Qui-Gon replied, bowing again before leading Obi-Wan out.


	16. Chapter 16

They entered Qui-Gon’s quarters and took up their now customary joint meditation position- crosslegged facing each other, Obi-Wan’s hands resting on Qui-Gon’s, palm to palm. They sank into a light trance and Qui-Gon started to send instructions on how to form a bond, only to startle when he realized Obi-Wan’s mental fingers were already at work.

Obi-Wan sent gleeful amusement, saying ‘I already know how!’ Then his grip slipped and Qui-Gon was quick to bolster it with his own mental grip. ’…I just don’t know how,’ Obi-Wan finished sheepishly.

'Then it’s fortunate that we’re meant to work together,’ Qui-Gon replied, broadcasting his own fond amusement.

Working together to weave their bond, they sank deeper into trance, sharing themselves and their memories.

Qui-Gon was in the creche, causing mischief with Micah and Tahl at his sides. He turned- and Obi-Wan was laughing at him, surrounded by Bant, Reeft, and Garen.

And they were growing and Master Dooku was asking him to be his Padawan and he was shocked and proud and excited. Meanwhile Obi-Wan was staring up into his own face in exhausted disbelief.

And life blurred through lessons and missions and trainings until one night Qui-Gon was standing tall, shorn braid in one hand, listening to Master Dooku’s quiet words of praise. But Obi-Wan was kneeling and full of anguish, with Qui-Gon’s own knuckles brushing his cheek.

And then in what was a number of years for Qui-Gon but almost no time at all for Obi-Wan, they were both giving blue eyed boys their first Padawan haircuts. There were years of joy and triumph that ended as blue eyes turned yellow.

Obi-Wan lost himself in years of desert but Qui-Gon called him back as his eyes caught sight of an exhausted little boy curled up in a garden. They came out of trance wrapped in a tightly woven training bond.

Their eyes met and all Qui-Gon could do was smile and murmur “Hello Ben.”

“Hello Master!” Obi-Wan said, beaming back at him before frowning thoughtfully. “It wasn’t like that before.”

“No?” Qui-Gon asked.

“There was a lot less sharing,” Obi-Wan said.

“Well I imagine you had quite a bit less to share,” Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan nodded but looked at him hesitantly.

“You shared less too… and you had more,” he said quietly.

“Ah,” said Qui-Gon, dismayed but not overly surprised after everything he had gleaned about his other self. “Well, all I can do is hope to learn from my other self’s mistakes, for I certainly never want you to feel you are unwanted.”

He radiated all of the growing care he felt for Obi-Wan across their nely formed training bond until his Padawan was looking at him with more confidence.

“And if I do ever show signs of such foolishness,” Qui-Gon said with a wry twitch of his lips, “you have my complete permission to do whatever is necessary to bring me to my senses.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes went wide and he collapsed into giggles. Qui-Gon soon joined his laughter and for several minutes the apartment rang with joy and laughter.

When they had calmed, Obi-Wan had snuck onto Qui-Gon’s lap was nestled against his chest. Qui-Gon wrapped him tightly in his arms.

“Normally an apprenticeship is celebrated with dinner,” Qui-Gon said.

Obi-Wan blinked slowly at him.

“But I rather fear you fall asleep in your meal, youngling,” Qui-Gon said.

“M'tired, Master,” Obi-Wan agreed.

“Shall we celebrate with a nice breakfast then, Ben?” Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan nodded and nuzzled closer as his eyes slid shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and this would be the end of the prewritten stuff... I do completely intend to get this finished, but please be patient with me while I figure out where I'm going from here


End file.
